All of that to say

I am still the same old person doing the same old things and my how discouraging that is.

The list

of things I don’t even care about anymore is just growing so fast.

Good to know my immaturity has officially gone through the roof.

these days

are passing by so quickly and four weeks from today I will be a married lady doing life with my best friend and it’s kind of terrifying but mostly wonderful and I’ve just got to seize these days for all they’re worth because pretty soon Friday movies and Sunday dates with these people will be a rare thing.

Is unintentionally offending people an Olympic sport yet because I’m pretty sure I would hold the gold medal.

afraid but not really

Who I’m turning into is who I’ve been turning into for several months now.  And part of me likes that person and part of me is afraid of that person.  And this makes a lot of sense because I am afraid.  But not in a way that makes sense. 

Being afraid is important because sometimes you’re shooting off illegal fireworks at the beach, and you should be afraid.  Or sometimes you’re climbing a mountain and your fiance tells you a lot of people have fallen off and so please be careful and you sure better be afraid.

Those are not the best examples I could have used but here’s my point.

If I’m still afraid that I’m not going to be good enough, things aren’t going to be good enough, there won’t be enough time, money, love, warm weather, then that’s a humongous problem that’s bigger than the fact that I don’t know how to properly fill out paperwork.  And there’s only one way to deal with that.